UPDATE! Jump to: Kim Kardashian Didn’t Get Fucked; She Fucked Them
Toronto Clown vs. Toronto Comedian
Quinn C. Martin, arguably Toronto’s top comedian (he’s hilarious AND can sell out a room on his own), gave me some advice yesterday that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about.
I was telling him that I wasn’t getting consistent laughs from some of my smarter material (i.e. an indian girl not recognizing that the caste system actually went: Kshatrya, Brahmin, and at the very top, white people [Krishna help me if I used Gora/Gori]). I desperately wanted to keep it in my set. He said:
Michael: you’re a COMEDIAN, not a !@#$^$% clown.
Similarly, Big Boi (OutKast) said:
Everytime I rhyme for y’all, I’m lookin to prove a point.
Wowzers. That’s perhaps the best advice I’ve ever gotten. Do I want people rolling in the aisles with laughter? Yes. But it’s also important to me that I share my knowledge and unique ideas with my audience.
Besides, I think there’s a purple cow opportunity (Seth Godin) to bring forth intelligent comedy. Who else do you know that can liken Greek Sovereign Debt to tricking on bitches?
Memoirs of a Guysha
As weird as it might sound, I want to be like a comedic male Geisha, whereby I entertain the audience’s mind while making them laugh simultaneously.
UPDATE: Kim Kardashian Didn’t Get Fucked; She Fucked Them
I’m writing this the day after I wrote, ‘Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, Veblen’s Conspicuous Consumption, and Kim Kardashian’ (next section). It’s given birth to the following joke, which I feel is an amazing rant/argument and – with a few more punchlines – can KILL. Hear me out:
- Premise: Who here thinks Kim Kardashian is a whore? (shake head) Kim Kardashian isn’t the whore. People say that Ray J fucked her. Nah….you’re wrong….she fucked him.
- Punchline: Hear me out. Name me the last Ray-J song? Tell me how much Ray-J made last year? That’s right: nobody knows, and nobody gives a fuck. Now tell me about Kim Kardashian. There’s fifty people in here that know about her. There’s fifty people in here that saw her on TV today. Ray J didn’t fuck her…continue reading here.
Now here’s where that idea came from…
Darwin’s Theory of Evolution, Veblen’s Conspicuous Consumption, and Kim Kardashian
Why Do We Give A Phoque?
I never understood why people followed celebrities. It made no sense to me. I could give a poop what Kim Kardashian had for breakfast.
But then I became an MMA Fanboy. I’d watch Nick Diaz eat cereal if the production values were right. But why? Why do we give a flying french-word-for-seal?
So how does this help us understand why we are addicted to celebrity news?
They Symbolize Success
It can be argued that celebrities are the most successful humans (besides business people, of course). And what do we want as onlookers? We want to be like them. We want to be the species that survives, too.
There’s a problem, though: We don’t have the prowess to become celebrities. So what do we do?
We imitate their actions and mimic their purchases so we can TRICK ourselves into believing we ARE them, that somehow through intercontinental osmosis we have their prowess, and therefore have the SAME chances at having our species survive as they do.
Damn, homie. That’s some science fo’ yo’ ass.
That’s me frantically trying to record my idea before the muse is gone.
Didn’t think I knew about Hindi music, didja? God Bless everyone who produced Hindi music before 1987…perhaps the most under-appreciated form of music EVER.