A Headshot Does Not A Model Make

Ladies: just because someone takes your picture with a digital camera, that doesn’t mean you’re a model.

Styling and Profiling

And just because you’re the best looking girl at the family BBQ, that doesn’t make you a model, either. It just makes you overdressed for the BBQ. Ever see these girls in a cocktail dress eating a burnt jerk chicken drumstick on a lawnchair in the backyard?

Logo ≠ Classy

These girls…lying down on the bed, bra and panties…upside down…you know the upside down pictures? And she thinks she’s not a slut because there’s this little logo in the corner that says, ‘Hot Gyal Photography.’

Life doesn’t work that way. If I serve you a Big Mac on a china plate, that doesn’t make it fine dining. It’s still fast food.

Easy Covergirl

And that’s what you look like when you’re wearing lingerie in your Facebook profile picture: an item on the McDonald’s Value Menu. You look like a Whopper on Wednesday. And just like Toonie Tuesday, guys will only be interested in you when you’re on sale and all of the other restaurants are closed. All we see is an easy, easy, easy, Covergirl.

I Can Still See You

Oh, and while I’m on the subject…you’re not voluptuous. You can’t use adjectives as an excuse. I was in line at KFC the other day and I thought Darth Vader was trying to sneak up on me…all I heard,

Haughh….whooooo….haugh…

She didn’t even have to order. The cashier just took one look at her and said into the mic,

One Family Feast please…one Family Feast…for here.

What a beat…

About Michael Jagdeo

My name's Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third person. I'm a Comedian from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In addition to honing my stand-up comedy act, I maintain this blog and write the weekly comedy article for blogTO.com.
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2 Responses to A Headshot Does Not A Model Make

  1. ilovedookie says:

    What fat girl pissed you off?! Lol! And you didn’t have to call
    me out with the sexy Facebook pictures. Hahaha!

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