The Ordering Coke at a Bar Diary Part 3

I order Coke instead of beer when I go to comedy clubs because it would be way too expensive and beer tastes icky. Alas, it’s pretty much the most pussy thing you can do when sitting on a bar stool. This is a series of posts documenting my neurosis surrounding ordering Coke.

What’ll it be?

My journey to become a stand up comedian leads me to bars 5-6 times per week, and I don’t want to be drinking almost everyday of the week for both health and personal finance-related reasons, and so I order a Coke. That’ll impress the ladies, eh? What are you having? A Heineken. You? A coke with ice and this nifty pinstriped bendy straw.

Bendy Straw

Bendy Straw not exactly as shown


Damn you, Obsolete iPhone!

I never liked beer. The taste made me wince when I was a kid; I figure that’s our evolutionary physical response saying, ‘Stop that shit right now.’ But then again, Big Mac’s taste exquisite…

I remember a job interview I had with the owners of a start-up IT consulting firm. Our last meeting was in a bar at 2pm on a Thursday, and I was the first to order. I ordered a Coke, and the other 3 partners ordered in quick succession, “Rickard’s Red, Rickard’s Red, Rickard’s Red”. I thought I lost the job right there and then. I said to myself, “That’s as good as ordering chocolate milk, you idiot…” I got the job. Coke, it turns out, is the modern man’s scotch.

Little did I know that the Coke was $4.00. Perhaps if I had the iPhone 4s with the personal assistant, Siri, I would’ve known that ahead of time and got more bang for my buck.

Master that Rubber Guard Fucko (kudos to Joey Diaz for that one)

Michael Jagdeo


About Michael Jagdeo

My name's Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third person. I'm a Comedian from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In addition to honing my stand-up comedy act, I maintain this blog and write the weekly comedy article for
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