Jokes About Entrepeneurship and Jokes About Being Broke

Ever get so broke that you start seriously considering living off the grid?

Nobody can know you’re a Broke Entrepeneur

I’ve had my own business for awhile, and it’s had its ups and downs. One rule of being an entrepeneur is that whenever someone asks you how things are going – no matter how broke you are – you have to use superlatives like, ‘Fantastic’ and ‘Super-duper!’

Nobody wants to do business with someone who might be going out of business in the next few hours.

 

Managing Public Opinion

It’s kind of like you’re the White House Press Secretary during the evacuation from Vietnam:

I know it looks like the helicopter is flying away with the Secretary of State hanging off the guardrail, but the war is starting to tip in our favour.

But then sometimes you forget who you’re talking to

 

My Mom Knows I’m Broke

Like when my mom asks me, ‘How’s business?’ And I say great…
Skeptical mom

Skeptical mom

 

My Accountant Knows I’m Broke, Too

He’s another one. He always asks me how business is going when I hand him my income statements. Again, I say things are great…and he plays along…because he knows how last year went…

Oh yeah? Let’s take a look, shall we?

And there’s that uncomfortable moment when he’s looking down at my tax-time documentaries, perusing the blanks and the dashes. The whole thing is a synonymphony of zero’s. He looks up:

Hmmm…alright I’ll get this back to you in a few days.

He might as well be honest and take the five minutes he actually needs, because we both know there’s nothing to do.

I offer him him my KFC bag of receipts, but he declines:

Accountant: You won’t be needing those.
Me: But can’t we use those as writeoffs?
Accountant: Slow down, Wesley Snipes. Canadian cops might not be sodapop, but if the CRA gets you, you won’t have to wait for jail to get fuzzed.

 

‘Forgetting’ My Wallet

LOVE Chris Farley

LOVE Chris Farley

And then when things really got really tough, I started ‘forgetting’ my wallet. Ever do that?

Uh, (check pockets) oh man…where’d I put it? (Fake rummage again) Snap, I forgot my wallet…

Your friends are thinking, ‘It’s a double double you broke asshole…why don’t you make a couple revolutions around the Tim Horton’s and discover a dollar twenty-one.’

 

Who Needs A Wallet? Not This Guy

Bacon wallet

More tasty than relevant.

Now, I’ve just stopped carrying a wallet. I figured, well, if I don’t have cash, I don’t need that compartment. And my plastic cards don’t interac’t with any currencied accounts.

So let’s see: I’ve memorized my SIN number, so I pretty much need my driver’s license…oh! And my health card, in case a disgruntled creditor decides to PUNCH ME IN THE FACE for avoiding their calls.

 

Being broke is a habit

My insolvency is due to a combination of bad habits and unhealthy addictions. Even with my highly leveraged, uneven, lost its Balance Sheet, if you gave me $20, I’d use 7 dollars for gas and the rest for a styrofoam coffin of fried chicken from the Dragon Centre in Scarborough.

Settle Down Pretty Lady; I’ll get the check next time…

Michael Jagdeo

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About Michael Jagdeo

My name's Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third person. I'm a Comedian from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In addition to honing my stand-up comedy act, I maintain this blog and write the weekly comedy article for blogTO.com.
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One Response to Jokes About Entrepeneurship and Jokes About Being Broke

  1. Pingback: Day by Day, My Dreams Are Coming True | Diary of a Toronto Stand-Up Comedian

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