Using Comedy Best Practices 2 via Why Are White Girls So Angry and Hot Girls Follow Me On Twitter

Jump to Update: New Video for ‘Why Are White Girls So Angry In Toronto?’

Why do pretty white girls look so angry? And how do I get more of these sexy females following me on Twitter? I don’t care if they haven’t tweeted anything and follow 3,000 people; I’m a stud. This continues a series where I apply the best practices learned from Mike Bent’s, ‘The Ultimate Guide To Writing Comedy.’

Techniques & Tools Used

  1. Set-up: Premise of the joke.
  2. Punchline: Line that gets a laugh.
  3. Tag: Another line that gets a laugh.
  4. Follow-up (Surprise) Tag: Yet another line that gets a laugh.
  • Rule of Three: Audiences expect a joke on the third beat.
  • Ellipses: Using …’s to add pauses when writing
  • Ethnic & Cultural References: a la Russell Peters and Carlos Menstealia’s Sources

Why Are White Girls So Angry?

UPDATE! Here’s the bit being performed at StarvingArtist Bar in Toronto. I was the second to last person to go up, which meant it was an intimate group if you catch my drift. Not every joke hit, but enough did to know that I can hold onto and hone this bit.

  • Set up with pun: Why are all the pretty white girls mad in Toronto? I’m not talking about ugly white girls…they have a legitimate beef; no literally, they’ve been eating way too much legitimate beef.
  • Punchline: but, I’m talking about the pretty ones. They walk around Toronto deadpan (wipe face deadpan), in their pea coats with slightly too much makeup, looking like showered zombies from club monaco. You have everything a women could ask for. You can get any white guy you want…..with a little extra weight…you could get any black guy you want.
  • Tag: Who here has been to an indian marriage? Ever been to an Indian marriage when the Bhupinder is marrying Lisa? That’s the happiest hindu on earth.
  • Surprise Tag: But what you don’t see is that sad indian girl in the corner holding back a flood of tears because yet another Lisa has stolen an indian investment banker. ‘Fuck you Lisa! I’m Brahmin!’ I would’ve given made him the sweetest ladoos…But what Kishori doesn’t understand is that the the caste system order goes, Kshitrya, Brahmin…Gori, which means white girl. Why do you think they created bollywood! It’s to say, hey white people, look at what I’m doing!
  • Preparing for the Heckle: Don’t worrying about those people boing, they’re from the Sudra class, which is like down here.

Who Are These Hot Girls Following Me On Twitter?

Who are these hot girls following me on twitter?

Who are these hot girls following me on twitter?

  • Set up: Are you guys on Twitter? Dude, I’ve finally made it big.
  • Punchline: I only have about 75 followers, but all of the new ones are these fucking HOT CHICKS dude…
  • Tag: They RT EVERYTHING I SAY. I sent one of them a direct message, and she was so excited she responded in a flood of consonants…oh yeah? You can make a girl scream? Well I make a girl squirt consonants!…
  • Surprise Tag: But then her Twitter boyfriend Twinkie187 started following me so I backed off. He sent me a short link which just lead to some gay porn site; he must be bisexual or something.

Stay Tuned for the last video I recorded of the material I wrote on Thursday. Post will come Monday…

About Michael Jagdeo

My name's Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third person. I'm a Comedian from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In addition to honing my stand-up comedy act, I maintain this blog and write the weekly comedy article for
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6 Responses to Using Comedy Best Practices 2 via Why Are White Girls So Angry and Hot Girls Follow Me On Twitter

  1. Pingback: How to Have a Great Set as a Comedian | Diary of a Toronto Stand-Up Comedian

  2. John Sep says:

    I liked it, but your surprise tag on the Hindu joke where it goes into the caste system may be over a lot of people’s heads or they may not relate to it enough to go with you on it. Everything else is pretty good. Twitter stuff might work better with a younger crowd who are more vested in it. Keep doing what you are doing and much success to you in your pursuit of laughter.

    • Hey John,

      Man, looking back on these, it’s kinda embarrassing, because I know now where I’ve taken these jokes.

      Click here for the latest incarnation of that bit.

      I’m with you 100%: the hindu caste system joke goes over 80% of people’s heads. That said, for the 20% that do get it, I’m hoping that it’s remarkable in the Seth Godin meaning of the word (people will ‘remark’ to other people about it). I have gotten laughs from certain crowds on it before, and that’s why I want to keep it. That said, what I may do is use it selectively. If I feel that the crowd will understand what I mean (i.e. Indians in the stands), then I’ll take the leap!

      Thanks for the support, John! Lol NOBODY understood my twitter joke the first time around. Perhaps it was too personal of an experience. Or perhaps my premise didn’t paint the picture enough to engage the non-twitter crowd. Recently, a lot of the sexy twitter-bots that spam people are getting banned by Twitter. I tweeted, ‘Loving me must be a crime, because all of these hot chicks trying to follow me are getting their accounts suspended by Twitter.’


    • Hey John,

      I’ve updated this page with a video of the ‘Why Are White Girls Angry’ performance in front of a crowd.

      Just as you predicted, the caste system tag didn’t hit. That said, I’m auditioning to be put on a show that’s geared towards South Asians, where they would understand that Hajmola is actually an indian digestive to be had after a meal rather than a female name!

      Let me know what you think!


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