By now, you’ve heard that SOPA, an online privacy bill, is threatening to fundamentally change the information we have access to on the internet. Oh, and Anto Man-Ming Chan, a Toronto comedian, implanted the idea of pun jokes in my head and I can’t get it out. I hope you enjoy the pun-infested social commentary.
At first glance, it appeared that SOPA was designed to scour the internet, which is awash with pirated goods. But after experts used a Lever to Pear into the bill, they realized that it was created by scum, sitting in their Ivory towers, who actually intend to sully our online experience.
From their faux citadel I will not imbibe. Instead, I’ll live like U-lye-sses, forever drinking life to the lees. I will not be brainwashed, conditioned, or otherwise have the curtains pulled over my eyes with ProctorGamble; my consciousness will stand Head and Shoulders above the rest.
If it takes being an Outkast to stay fresh and clean, so be it. I’ll fight so that when I have a daughter, you have something to shower.
So in this lifetime, don’t get SOPA in your eyes, lest things get Hazy like a deceitful spanish lye-ricist. They’re trying to make money fist over fist by controlling information. Do what you can, lest well you end up smelling like a ***** in Paris: Kanye Zest.