Day #9 of my 20-Day Writing Challenge. Here’s an offensive one the whole family can enjoy:
Iran won yet another medal today at the London 2012 Olympic Games, bringing their medal count to nine. The event? You guessed it: shotput.
Iran won yet another medal today at the London 2012 Olympic Games, bringing their medal count to nine. The event? You guessed it: shotput.
Shout out goes to Norm MacDonald for providing the voice and structure for this joke.
Diary of a Toronto Stand-Up Comedian 
did you mean “shotput” or “shot-in-the-head-put”?
Hey Carlos!
Iran’s women represented their nation proudly this year, winning gold in the team event, ‘Dodgeput.’
MJ
won gold, eh? you think those persian women would display their medals, or wear them all the time, everywhere – including places they shouldn’t (e.g. pool, gym)?
Suprisingly the Iranian competitors didn’t do that well in the shooting competition. it could’ve been because the targets weren’t screaming like women & children, that the international community was watching or that the IOC refused to switch the traditional bulls-eye with the star of david… we’ll never know.
GOLD -> the IOC refused to switch the traditional bulls-eye with the star of david… we’ll never know.
did you see the walking event? ultimate racism test – didn’t see a single black guy – THEN noticed which event it was. Maybe it’s that way because no self respecting black guy will let himself be filmed doing that super-gay, stereotypical white guy walk.
Hey Carlos,
You’d be surprised at how far black guys have fallen manly-wise. They used to be the most alpha, now it looks like they shop at the neon section of Baby Gap.
But don’t take my word for it…
Jesus.
I dunno… I think you may have argued yourself into a corner. They acted like that on a public street and no-one kicked their assess… try being white and getting away with that. Still alpha.
OMG I think you might be right!
Is the manliest man in the world the guy who can act the gayest and still be considered cool by their peers?
At the same time, what does that say about a society where men can dress/dance like that in public without inciting a backlash?
I mean, I heard that the THC content in marijuana had gone up significantly, but goddamn! Talk about the opiate of the masses…
If you saw Mike Tyson in full drag with a dildo sticking out from his fake cleavage, would you even acknowledge it in the conversation?
me: oh wow, Mike Tyson!
Tyson: always nice to meet a fan.
me: oh… (pause)… wow
Tyson: what?
me: … (pause)… huh?
Tyson: you look like you had something to say.
me: what?! Noooooo.
Tyson: you don’t like the dress?
me: … (long pause) it’s a lovely colour on you.
Tyson: you got a problem with “colours”, is that it?
… later, in heaven
me: i just didn’t want to say that he shouldn’t wear pastels.
Best Mike Tyson story ever…
And, by the way, why isn’t pole dancing an Olympic sport yet? If a girl’s in a bikini on a vertical pole – it’s filth, but if there are 2 poles and they’re horizontal – it’s the ‘uneven bars’, a.k.a. horizontal pole dancing. If beach volleyball can be a sport, surely the athleticism of pole dancers can be recognised… besides, letting them compete at the Olympics is a great way for pole dancers to show their dads that they made it, despite the abuse.
wait, just realised – ‘professionals’ can’t compete at the olympics… they have to be amateurs.
But if there are two poles and they’re horizontal, it’s the ‘uneven bars’ – GOLD!
Ok…this is kind of dark re: pole dancers showing their dads that they made it despite the abuse…
Perhaps that’s why gymnasts cry after they get on the podium? Take that dad! And that’s why you never see camel toe at the Olympics…
Wowzers.
Hehehe re: dark
would “step-dads” be lighter?
starting to see a lot of similarities between gymnasts and pole dancers… main difference, though, is their sponsors wanting to be associated with them publicly.
‘Step-dads’ would be more accurate…not sure about less lighter, but I love it as a joke either way!