Rihanna Still In Love With Chris Brown

…But That’s No Excuse To Hate Her

rihanna still loves chris brown

Rihanna recently admitted that she still loves Chris Brown even after he physically assaulted her, and a lot of people are shocked…not me.

You see, I’m also in an abusive relationship.

Tastes So Good But Hurts So Bad

my abusive relationship

Chicken Wings and I met in grade three and have been in an abusive relationship ever since. She’s given me high blood pressure, manboobs, and brought me closer to diabetes, but you know what I ate out last night?

Chicken wings. You know why? Because she makes my heart happy. She tastes amazing. To quote the Spice Girls, ‘Nine Become One.’ They’re killing me…softlyyyyy, with blue chee–ee -eese – ee – ee – eeeese.

But the Rihanna critics persist. They deride, ‘What kind of person would allow a guy to beat her up and then go back with him?’

Hypocrisy

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye

What the talking heads fail to realize is that we can’t help who/what we love.

You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. – Luke 6:42

What kind of person would spend all of their time having negative feelings about Rihanna, someone they don’t even know? What kind of person would carve out an identity by criticizing other people and saying, ‘I’m better than them’?

Perhaps if you were getting good log, you wouldn’t be so angry and obsessed about how others live their life.

Teach dem, Bob, teach dem,

MJ

PS – My homemade chicken wing sauce is a combination of Frank’s Red Hot Sauce, West Indian pepper sauce, lemon juice, and mustard powder. Warning: it burns when you rub it on your body, but it hurts so good

PPS – I hate everything that has to do with pop culture. I find the following of celebrities repulsive. That said, I know that writing about this type of stuff gets people’s attention. Case in point, my Jay-Z Illuminati and Kim Kardashian posts have been the most popular, even though they’re far down on my list of favourite pieces. So, I’ve decided to write a pop culture post once every week. Hey…sometimes in the pursuit of monetizing your passion you have to do some things that you wouldn’t do otherwise. But let’s be clear: it’s still better than working a goddamn day job…can I get an Amen? I’ll also get a side of Witness.

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About Michael Jagdeo

My name's Michael Jagdeo, and I refuse to write about myself in the third person. I'm a Comedian from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. In addition to honing my stand-up comedy act, I maintain this blog and write the weekly comedy article for blogTO.com.
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4 Responses to Rihanna Still In Love With Chris Brown

  1. The Truth says:

    I have been reading your posts for quite sometime, and honestly not funny at all. I think its time you go back to a day job

    • Hey Truth!

      First of all, thanks for taking the time to read the posts. It means a lot that you’re taking a bit of time to evaluate the material before making a comment about it. A lot of people simply read one post and form a rigid opinion.

      What don’t you find funny about them? Can you be more specific? Do you have any suggestions?

      Thanks, Truth!

      Jagdeo

  2. Watching says:

    I find your posts to be funny and speaks the truth

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