During this morning’s audition, one of the the Casting Directors asked me,
I paused for a split-second, chuckled, and replied,
I didn’t always feel that way about how my life turned out…
High School Reunion
A few months ago, I saw an old high school acquaintance in the mall with her husband. I didn’t say hi because I anticipated the questions about what I was doing for a living. In particular, I didn’t want to answer her with Comedian because it felt like I was admitting that I had failed in my bid to become a businessman.
I walked around the mall for awhile, feeling really shitty about myself for being embarrassed…embarrassed?!?! About what? Following my dreams?!?!? I eventually started to look behind the pain, and asked myself,
Eventually, I realized that because I wasn’t as monetarily successful as she was, I was taking that to mean that there must be something inherently inferior about me. I realized that I had unknowingly put an expectation on my shoulders that if I wasn’t wealthy, I shouldn’t be happy or proud of myself.
Tat Tvam Asi (I Am That)
But that’s not the case anymore. Today, when that Casting Director asked me what my dreams were, I didn’t hesitate: I told her that I was already living them. It was at that point when I realized that I had finally stopped aspiring to be something I never really wanted to be in the first place (see About Me for the full story).
I love where I am right now. Everyday, I get up, grab a coffee, and proceed to make myself laugh until my head hits the pillow. I wouldn’t change my career choices for all of the money in the world.
And hey, if you’re out there, chasing money like I once did, I’d like to repeat what a millionaire once told me as I took a seat in his humble Mazda 3,
Word to Big Bird.